Halcali and the Hipster Self-Loathing Syndrome

I can't stop listening to Halcali's latest, Cyborg Oretachi ("Robot Us"). It's not particularly good, nor do I really like pop music. So what gives? I have, I've decided, finally given in to my self-loathing and embraced garbage music.

This, what I've dubbed the Hipster Self-Loathing Syndrome, has gripped the Western world. It used to be that hipsters wouldn't be caught dead listening to top 40 pop music. But two things happened: pop music courted electronica and alternative musicians and paid them big bucks to write songs for their engineered stars; and the internets brought everyone together. Now it's no big deal to have Britney and Justin and Broken Social Scene all in the same playlist. iTunes has become the great equalizer. All music is good; all music is garbage.

I'm an old-school hold out. Even back in high school, 1987, when local radio station Live 105 started playing bands I liked like New Order and Love and Rockets, I was such a hipster I abandoned the music I liked to burrow ever deeper underground. That's a lot of work. No wonder kids these days just listen to whatever. However, I still can't listen to Justin Timberlake, despite his overwhelming (and inexplicable) street cred. People I respect go crazy for his music. To me it sounds like throwaway Chicago house circa 1989, but then for some that might be a brand new sound. I'd rather listen to dusty old Trax records any day.

But here's where my hypocrisy emerges: I'll gladly listen to any J-pop, no matter how throwaway. Maybe it's because a lot of the J-pop I like was written and produced by musicians whom I have previously enjoyed and respected, like Fantastic Plastic Machine, Tamio Okuda, and the Blue Hearts. It's also the music itself. I grew up in the '80s, so I have not only a love for that singular '80s sound but also for '60s pop, which was the retro rage then. Both of these pop styles still permeate J-pop. Yes, I can both dismiss Justin's music for being a hack retread of dance music and can love J-pop for being a hack retread of summer of love pop. Bear witness to the complexity of the human soul.

Yeah, so Halcali. Two teenage girls who do something akin to rapping over highly polished beats. Apparently on their debut album, Bacon, way back in 2003, they were less manufactured. Although really, they were created by hip-hop powerhouse Rip Slyme, so how "real" can they be? I only recently discovered them so I don't have any of those "back in the day" associations with them. But Cyborg Oretachi is admittedly pretty poppy.

The highlight is "Twinkle Star," a high-speed drum and bass/hip-hop workout that samples the theme to The Magnificent Seven (the back and forth cultural exchange in that boggles the mind). It's the best example of the girls' rap skills, which, on "Twinkle Star," is pretty good. Elsewhere, like on "Doo THE HAMMER," and "Togenkyo," there's more singing than rapping, and you have to wonder how much post-processing was done to keep these kids in key.

If Cyborg Oretachi has a real downfall, it's that it isn't visual. A major part of the appeal of these girls is in their image, and it was the video for "Twinkle Star" that made me fall hard. I picked up the DVD edition of the album, which contains five music videos. I can't tell if their amateurishness is calculated or just tolerated, but it certainly works for me. Most of the time they look like they're goofing off in a class project video, never sure where to look, messing up the lip-syncing and their silly dance moves. Of course, they're also adorable, but it really is this accessibility that makes them so appealing.

Maybe that's the difference between the J-pop I like, like Puffy, and Justin Timberlake. Puffy, despite their extreme celebrity, are still accessible. When I saw them live recently they were so gracious. It's just so endearing. Halcali have that same quality. There's a video online of Halcali dancing along to their "It's PARTY TIME!" video at a booth at the Japan expo in France while people confusedly look on. I mean, come on, how cute is that?

So, please allow me my J-pop hipster self-loathing and I'll try not to hate on you for liking Justin Timberlake, or whatever the hell fake gangster crap is hot this week.

Comments

[Don]

At least you're honest about the double standard. Tt's a lot easier to find even the most contrived and banal stuff cool when you're on the outside looking in. I know I did initially.

As for Rip Slyme as a "hip-hop powerhouse"... hip-pop, sure. These guys never met an unthreatening J-pop beat and a sing-song chorus they didn't like.

[rupan777]

Next time you're in my car, I'm going to have to slap you silly with some Lamp Eye, Rappagariya, Rhymester, or Buddha Brand.