Slash And Burn

Monster In Translation: Godzilla and Gamera Come To America

Title: Godzilla, King of the Monsters
Japanese Title: Gojira
AKA: Godzilla
Directors: Ishiro Honda, Terry O. Morse
Actors: Raymond Burr, Takashi Shimura, Akira Takarada
Year Released: 1956
Genre: Kaiju
See Also: Gojira
Otaku Alert: US helmsman Terry O. Morse was a more prolific editor than director and his resume includes the great Robinson Crusoe on Mars.
Availability Note: Available as part of a double-disc set with the original Gojira.

Title: Gammera The Invincible
Japanese Title: Daikaiju Gamera
AKA: Gamera
Directors: Noriaki Yuasa, Sandy Howard
Actors: Albert Dekker, Brian Donlevy, Eiji Funakoshi
Year Released: 1966
Genre: Kaiju
See Also: Gamera
Otaku Alert: US director Sandy Howard went on to produce tons of genre pictures in the '70s and '80s, including the first two Angel movies and The Devil's Rain. Classy stuff.

It's the mid-1950s. You've just a great but depressing little subtitled Japanese movie called Gojira down at the Toho Theater in Los Angeles' Little Tokyo. As a producer, you know you can do something with it, but what? The monster stuff is great but the connection to the atom bomb is way too obvious. Also, there's nary a white face to be seen.

Solution: Godzilla, King of the Monsters.

A drastic re-cut of the original film, King of the Monsters is nothing short of bizarre. Rather than just dub the whole thing, cutting scenes as necessary, the US distributor decided to shoot an entirely new subplot featuring actor Raymond Burr, of Perry Mason and boxy suits fame. A journalist, Steve Martin (snicker), lands in Tokyo just in time for a newly awakened Godzilla to start his antics. Martin survives Godzilla's attack, sees the monster destroyed, and makes some pithy comments about the world being safe again. But it's the way in which the film was re-purposed that's just so weird, it bears exploring.

Rather than just insert scenes of Burr in different locations, parallel to the action of the original film, every effort is made to include him in the action. We go with Burr as he tags along with whatever the actors of the original film are doing. They act, the films cuts to Burr, who reacts, then we cut back to the original. However, the original is in Japanese. So we get people speaking Japanese (with no subtitles), a Japanese person explaining to Burr what they said, and then Burr commenting. This round robin style is thankfully not consistent and sometimes the Japanese actors are dubbed in English. Why this isn't maintained all the way through is a mystery. But when they are speaking in Japanese, we have to wait for Burr to get the translation. Thus, we wait with him. We are made to identify with him, which makes things all the more creepy.

Burr comes across as some kind of weird voyeur, smugly watching the goings-on, smoking his pipe and waiting for translation. He treats his translators in an odd way too. Remember, this is just a few years after the US occupation of Japan ended. His attitude is subtly patronizing and "father knows best." Often, the Japanese actors are made to appear as if they're asking Burr for advice, rather than any of the more qualified scientists or government officials in the film. Perhaps that's the way the American audiences wanted it to be.

Oddly enough, Toho released the American version in Japan. How odd would that be, watching Japanese conversations being translated into English, and then subtitled back into Japanese.

It's the mid-1960s. You've just seen a Japanese film about a giant, fire-breathing turtle called Gamera that's extremely reminiscent of Godzilla. Although lots of Japanese giant monster movies have been released in the US with few changes save dubbing, you decide that what your films really needs to captivate American teenage audiences is a bunch of old, white guys sitting around and arguing.

Witness Gammera The Invincible.

A trio of Soviet jets stray into US airspace over the arctic and are shot down. The nuclear bomb one of the jets is carrying explodes, releasing the giant turtle Gammera, who makes a bee-line for Japan, eats fire, almost kills and then inexplicably saves an annoying kid in short-shorts with a turtle fixation, and is then shot into space, from which he returns for another 10 or so sequels.

Pretty standard kids' kaiju fare by the mid-'60s. Daei did the best with what they had, which wasn't much compared to Toho and its genius special effects wizard, Eiji Tsubaraya. But really, was it worth the American distributor the trouble and money to shoot a bunch of new scenes and stick them into an already full-length Japanese movie? Apparently so.

I like to think the lunch meeting at the Brown Derby went like this:

Suit #1: I don't know, this Gamera thing looks like a piece of crap. How can we liven it up?
Suit #2: How the hell should I know? What are the kids into these days anyway, surfing and go-go dancing? Can't we just put some go-go girls over the opening credits like everyone else and be done with it?
Suit #1: Sure, we could, but what I think the kids really, REALLY want to see in a giant monster movie is third-tier actors arguing. You know, the kinds with too much Brylcreem and jowls that hang over their stiffly starched white-collar shirts.
Suit #2: That's funny, Bob. But really, what should we do?
Suit #1: I wasn't joking, Randal. It's my wife Brenda with the dough to release this POS, so I say what goes.
Suit #2: Jeez, Bob, OK. Ease off. Here, let me order you another martini. Waiter!

You notice that the producers left the rest of the films well enough alone.

Hmm, I feel like having a martini now.

Son of Godzilla

Japanese Title: Kaijuto no kessen: Gojira no musuko
Director: Jun Fukuda
Actors: Tadao Takashima, Akira Kubo, Bibari "Beverly" Maeda
Year Released: 1967
Genre: Kaiju
See Also: Destroy All Monsters, Godzilla's Revenge aka All Monsters Attack
Otaku Alert: Akira Kubo, who plays parachuting freelance journalist Goro, has a long and distinguished career that includes appearances in such films as Chushingura, Kill!, and, um, School of Sex.

I've been sick. Never fails. Semester ends, I stress out for finals and get sick. The only saving grace of being sick is renting bad movies from the local video place, and this I did with glee. Lo and behold, they had a few Godzilla movies I hadn't seen lately so I plunked down the $4.32 for Son of Godzilla, the 1967 entry in the series and the episode in which Godzilla jumps the shark.

Godzilla movies were my favorite when I was a kid. I especially liked his signature moves. In each film, Godzilla does some cute little move that humanizes him. In Hedorah he wipes his snout like a cat, and in Invasion of Astro-Monster he does that hilarious low-gravity jig. The move I've been looking for is like clapping, or flapping arms. After besting a foe, Godzilla flaps his arms like he's excited. Actually, I could be mis-remembering this move with another kaiju thing, like Ultra-Man. I've been through all of the Showa series save Megalon, and that one's hard to find. So anyway, I pop in ol' Son of Godzilla, grab the tissues and Tylenol, and am roundly and summarily disappointed.

Some scientists have set up a lab on a South Seas tropical island to conduct experiments on freezing the local atmosphere. Something about wanting to find new ways to farm frozen landscapes. In that case, doesn't it make more sense to just go farm in Siberia rather than freeze a tropical island and then farm it? The experiment goes wrong and the island is irradiated and super-heated, causing the already horse-sized praying mantis monsters on the island to become super giant size, which are named Kamakuras by a gonzo freelance journalist who parachutes into the island for a scoop. I was waiting for some kind of eco-disaster subplot to emerge but no, giant insects are just par for the course. Turns out there's already a massive spider named Kumonga hanging around. Pretty soon, Godzilla shows up, his son hatches from an egg, and…

OK, there are two things lame about Son of Godzilla. First, the giant insects—although admittedly pretty cool looking—are basically marionettes, not guys in suits. This drops their Godzilla battle potential to almost nil. If Godzilla tried to wrestle one he'd get tangled up in the (visible) wires. So he stands there while they fly by or spray him with silly string. The other lame thing is Minira. I mean, he looks like a tadpole, brays like a donkey, and single-handedly infantilizes the series. Take a look at 1969's Godzilla's Revenge aka All Monsters Attack for more of the same. Actually there are three lame things, the third being when hot, semi-naked island girl Saeko discovers pants.

A lot of the film is devoted to the "touching" relationship between father (mother?) and son, but it's kinda weird. I guess it's supposed to be funny, but Godzilla is really just a dead-beat dad. He accidentally knocks baby over with his tail before the kid can even walk right. During the part where he teaches his kid to breathe fire, Godzilla repeatedly brandishes his fist in a cowering Minira's face, threatening him with physical violence if he doesn't perform to his father's expectations. When Minira comes up short, Godzilla stamps on his tail. Finally, Godzilla spends a lot of the movie napping, no doubt sleeping off some kind of monster drunk, leaving the kid to wander around an island known to be populated with giant insects and spiders. It's all well and good when Godzilla wakes up long enough to save his kid, but if he had just been paying attention in the first place…

Even as a kid I never liked Minira all that much. There's something weird about his face. Oh, speaking of, what's up with Godzilla's face in this movie? He looks like an idiot. No wonder Gamera got so popular. At least he never spawned.

Lastly, shouldn't the son of Godzilla be named Jesuszilla? Just a thought.