Slash And Burn

Where's the Love, New York Times?

While perusing the New York Times online, as I like to do while having my cup of morning coffee, I spotted a link to The 1000 Best Movies Ever Made, a book published by the newspaper. "Well," I said to myself, "let's see how many Japanese films are included."

A paltry few, it turns out.

Outraged, I read over the criteria to find out why so few Japanese films had made the list. The films had to have been favorably reviewed in the NY Times, and that means they had to have theatrical releases in New York. (As New York is one of the great movie towns in this country, that isn't as strict a filter as it sounds.) Also, the book was published in 2002, cutting off release dates to five years ago. But still!

Out of 1000 films listed, only 20 were from Japan. That's 2 percent! This, by all accounts, is outrageous. "But surely the other films that made the list are of such high quality that there were only room for 20 Japanese films," you must be saying. Yeah, you'd think. But look at the list: a quick glance reveals such cinematic brilliance as Airplane!, Back to the Future, Jerry Maguire, and Shrek. Shrek! Better than all Ozu films except Tokyo Story. Better than anything by Masahiro Shinoda, Kon Ichikawa, or Shohei Imamura. Ouch.

What follows is a list of films that I think should absolutely be on the list. Those that the New York Times actually liked link to their page. Many of the original reviews are available to read if you register (it's free). The reviews are fascinating. Almost all the reviews written in the 1950s feature the words "exotic" or "Oriental," and some are laughably ignorant of Japanese culture. Granted, this was just after World War 2, but really. The Rashomon review is particularly bad, with the writer wondering how well the film captures modern Japanese life. Um, I think the point is about human nature?

OK, the list:

1. After Life (1998)
2. Battles Without Honor and Humanity (1973)
3. Branded to Kill (1967)
4. The Burmese Harp (1956)
5. Chushingura (1962)
6. Doing Time (2002) (Slash and Burn Review)
7. Double Suicide (1969)
8. Eureka (2000)
9. Fires on the Plain (1959)
10. The Family Game (1983) "A stylish, deadpan comedy about Japan's comparatively affluent, utterly directionless, new middle class."
11. Giants & Toys (1958)
12. Gojira (1954) (Slash and Burn Review)
13. Hana-bi (1997)
14. Harakiri (1962)
15. Ikiru (1952) "Confused in its story-telling."
16. Jigoku (1960)
17. Kwaidan (1964)
18. Late Spring (1949)
19. Onibaba (1964)
The Pornographers (1966)
20. Ran (1985) "Ran stands above all other 1985-86 movies with the implacable presence of a force of nature."
21. Rashomon (1950) "An artful and fascinating presentation of a slice of life on the screen."
22. Samurai Assassin (1965)
23. Sansho the Bailiff (1954) "A film of breathtaking visual beauty."
24. Seven Samurai (1954) "It is a solid, naturalistic, he-man outdoor action film, wherein the qualities of human strength and weakness are discovered in a crisis taut with peril."
25. Sword of Doom (1966)
26. Tampopo (1985) "A funny sensibility is at work here."
27. Tokyo Story (1953)
28. Twenty-Four Eyes (1954)
29. Twilight Samurai (2002)
30. Ugetsu (1953) "You'll get flavor from this weird, exotic stew."
31. When a Woman Ascends the Stairs (1960)
32. Woman in the Dunes (1964) "A strongly allegorical, strangely engrossing film."
33. Yojimbo (1961)

The following are films that the New York Times included but I didn't, for various reasons (mostly that I haven't seen them, or don't think they're as exceptional as those above). You'll notice that the Times loves Kurosawa. We all do, but let's give some other filmmakers a chance too.

1. Gate of Hell (1953)
2. A Geisha (1953)
3. High and Low (1963)
4. Kagemusha (1980)
5. Sanjuro (1962)
6. A Taxing Woman (1987)
7. A Taxing Woman's Return (1988)
8. Throne of Blood (1957)

I neglected to list Spirited Away in the above list as it's animated, and I don't cover animated films on this blog.

Shinobi Remake Announced

Shinobi was apparently a hit in Japan in 2005 but has had lackluster response on DVD in the US, odd because it really is a lot of fun. Who can argue with a Romeo and Juliet-inspired ninja film? Variety Asia reports that the film is being remade for the American market by Hong Kong-based filmmmaker Max Makowski, who can count among his credits director of the TV show, "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy."

Makowski will begin scripting the Shinobi remake immediately in hopes it can begin production early next year. While the original pitted two rival ninja clans against each when members from each fall in love, Makowski is modernizing the Romeo and Juliet premise and resetting it in Hong Kong. There, the victor of a 160-year-old feud between two multinational security forces is being decided, with a love affair complicating matters. Makowski will infuse the film with elements from Asian gangster and ninja genres.

So, if you're moving the feudal-era Japan ninja story to modern day Hong Kong, thus making it an entirely new story that retains only its Romeo and Juliet elements, why bother licensing the rights from Shochiku? Last I checked, Shakespeare is in the public domain. Hence, it's free.

Reviews For Your, Um, Review

I've been doing this here site for something like a year. The bulk of my posts have been film reviews. I've collected them on a Reviews page, organized alphabetically. Wow, I've got 60 reviews posted. Yay, me.

The page is always accessible from the column on the right, above "Recent Comments."

So now you know. And thanks for reading!

Gappa the Triphibian Monsters

Japanese Title: Daikyoju Gappa
AKA: Monster From a Prehistoric Planet
Director: Haruyasu Noguchi
Actors: Tamio Kawaji, Yoko Yamamoto, Yuji Okada
Year Released: 1967
Genre: Kaiju
See Also: Gamera, Godzilla, et al.
Otaku Alert: Star Tamio Kawaji would go on to appear in Takashi Miike's Gozu, 36 years later.

In 1967 Japan was in the midst of a kaiju boom. Ultraman was on TV. Toho was steady rolling out Godzilla pictures, Daei had both Gamera and Daimajin series, and even Toei got into the act briefly with its kaiju/ninja hybrid, Magic Serpent. Nikkatsu, which would soon abandon all sense and go entirely soft-core porno, threw its hat into the game with Gappa the Triphibian Monsters, a decidedly pedestrian giant monster offering that is obviously not a Toho kaiju film.

The plot fails to inspire: an expedition to the South Seas to find interesting animals for a new theme park stumbles across a baby lizard chicken thing, which the black-face painted Japanese actors portraying islanders call Gappa. In tried-and-true King Kong fashion, the expedition takes the baby back to civilization for extensive exploitation and plot strengthening. Naturally, the baby's two parents come looking for it, trash Japan, face off against inept Special Defense Forces tank and jet fighter models, and breathe optically printed death breath until the film limps over the 90-minute finish line.

When I said Gappa was obviously not a Toho film, I meant that even amongst kaiju films, the special effects are pretty lousy. I'm not sure if it's in the way the monsters are lit, or the way they move their dead plastic eyes, but it's just so obviously guys in bad suits—even more so than in a Toho film.

Also, this was 1967. By now moviegoers expected more than just monsters walking around and knocking things over, as the Gappa parents do. It had been 23 years since the original Godzilla did just that. In the ensuing time, Godzilla had faced off against any number of rubber-suited opponents. The two Gappas are a couple—they could at least act like it and get in some tiffs.

There are some posts on IMDB that assert that Gappa is some kind of winking satire, intentionally cliché ridden and knowing. I don't think it's that sophisticated but I will admit there's more going on than just mere B-movie exploitation. Think about it: the Gappas are foreign tourists, visiting Japan and treating it like trash. They're ugly Americans, running rampant through Japan's tourist attractions. They visit Nikko, pause to knock over a feudal-era castle, and descend on Tokyo. Once finished, they assemble at Haneda Airport and take off into the setting sun, the West. Cue swelling music and footage of quiet, foreigner-free Japan. Vapid, opportunistic cash-in or clever anti-tourism analogy? As it was Nikkatsu's one and only kaiju foray, the world may never know.